Jonah was swallowed by a large fish for disobeying God.

And it’s that part of the story most people remember. But that’s not the part I want to focus on. Nope. Let me give you a brief synopsis of the entire story. And THEN I’ll get back to the whole “Don’t be a Jonah” thing. I promise.

What Happened to Jonah in the Bible?

In Jonah Chapter 1, God tells Jonah to go to Nineveh and tell the people to expect God’s judgment for their wickedness. Jonah didn’t like that assignment so he traveled on a ship in the completely opposite direction. While on the ship, God sent a horrific storm. Jonah knew it was his fault so he asked the sailors to throw him overboard to make it stop. They did, and God had a giant fish waiting to swallow Jonah whole.

Chapter 2 covers Jonah spending three days in the belly of the fish, praying that God would rescue him. And, if God did rescue him, he would stop running. So, God made the fish spit Jonah out on dry land.

Chapter 3 is Jonah making good on his promise to God. He goes to Nineveh and tells the people their city will be destroyed in 40 days. To his surprise, the king and all the people don’t get mad at him. Instead, the king sends out a decree, telling the people AND animals to fast and that “everyone must pray earnestly to God. They must turn from their evil ways and stop all their violence. Who can tell? Perhaps even yet God will change his mind and hold back his fierce anger from destroying us.” (Jonah 3:8-9, NLT) And, because God is merciful, He did not destroy them.

Now, Chapter 4 is where I’d like to land. This is the part where Jonah got mad because God saved the people of Nineveh. He literally complained to God:

“Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people.”

Jonah 4:2 (NLT)

Whether you knew about that part of the story or not, it feels pretty messed up, right?! The Ninevites put an end to their extremely sinful behavior. God forgave them. And Jonah pouted about it.

I sure think it’s messed up.

And yet, I do the same thing. It just took me a long time to notice.

Giving Grace to Other People

Last year, I challenged myself to pray for people every time I started to complain about them. While I am making progress in that area, I realized recently that—sometimes—when the people I pray for or hope will change, do, in fact, change for the better, I feel… annoyed. Once I saw this about myself, I couldn’t unsee it. So, I forced myself to go deep.

WHY does this annoy me?

The answers I uncovered were not what I wanted to face—but exactly what I needed to face:

• There’s no justice. All that time I spent complaining about them or feeling frustrated by the situation suddenly seems unresolved. I was wronged or offended and they get to act like it never happened.
• I am so used to them being negative that I don’t know how to react to anything different.
• Deep inside, I enjoy complaining. It feels validating.

Umm. Yikes.

Have you ever asked yourself the WHY questions and not liked what you found?

Feeling convicted, Jonah’s story popped into my head, and I thought, Don’t be a Jonah.

Don’t be upset by God’s mercy and grace poured into the lives of other people.

Don’t allow pride to turn ME into someone who is easily annoyed—or offended or resentful.

Don’t forget how much mercy and grace God has given ME—and will continue to give for the rest of my life.

Don’t let judgment and unforgiveness stew in my heart.

How to Show Grace When People Change

When making change, I think it’s important to focus not only on the “don’ts” but also the “dos.”

“Do” is an action step so you’re not stuck in a rut with no clear path to get out.

So, here’s what I want to do instead:

• Do celebrate when people change.
• Do confess pride that makes me feel entitled to being offended.
• Do continually thank God for the mercy and grace He gives—past, present, and future.
• Do praise God for His mercy and grace in others’ lives, and focus on seeing them through that lens of grace.
• Do forgive—and continue to forgive for as long as it takes.

This is one of these easier said than done list of to-dos. But, I never want to get to a point where I’m not addressing areas of my life that need to change—even the ones no one else can see. Because the truth is, what we allow our minds to dwell on will affect our actions. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. It will happen.

This type of pride, unforgiveness, or annoyance with others may not be something you can relate to. Or maybe you can. Either way, I think it’s important for us to be honest with ourselves when we know we’re reacting in a way that isn’t loving or God-honoring.

Of course, you don’t have to announce it to the world like I am right now. But, you may find some level of accountability helpful. I’m also compelled to share because it’s easy to feel alone in your struggles when people around you don’t talk about the struggles they face. I want to normalize being real and open about living life, with all its challenges.

The truth is, no one is perfect at navigating life. We each have our weaknesses. Things we need to learn. Stuff we’d rather ignore or hide.

The more we share, the more we can help each other grow and feel understood. Less like a failure.

So, yeah. Don’t be a Jonah. But also, don’t feel alone if you find yourself annoyed by or resentful toward the Ninevehs in your life.

We’re all in this together and God has plenty of grace to go around.