I grew up thinking that being shy and being an introvert were the same thing. Probably because I experienced both.

For me, being shy and being an introvert both led to not always wanting to interact with people, so in my brain, they seemed synonymous. Plus, I do believe it’s a common misconception, still today, that all introverted people are shy. Not so! I just happened to be one who is — or was — or still is sometimes.

So What’s the Difference Between Being an Introvert and Being Shy?

Great question. One I’m still exploring myself, to be honest.

I’d like you to come along on this journey with me as I share official and clinical definitions of introversion and shyness, followed by my own thoughts on each topic.

First, introversion.

What Is Introversion?

According to the organization Mental Health America, “Introversion is a personality trait, not a mental health condition. Introverts get their energy from within, meaning they need a lot of alone time to recharge. Many introverts prefer minimally stimulating environments – they often like doing solo activities or spending time in familiar spaces or with people they know well. Being in busier or more active social environments isn’t necessarily anxiety-inducing for them – they just know it will take a lot more energy to be ‘on.'”

I appreciate this explanation because it puts into words exactly how I often feel.

As a kid, when I felt extra introverted, I thought there was something wrong with me. And even today, as a 40-something adult, I have a tendency to see it as a weakness.

Why can’t I be more outgoing? Why does being around (most) people inevitably drain me? Why am I so much more content on my own — reading, writing, drawing, thinking?

Does this sound like you, too?

SimplyPsychology.org offers eight signs to determine if you are an introvert, with one even indicating that introverts can even be outgoing in certain situations.

But back to feelings.

While the world might praise extroverts more, I am learning more and more to appreciate my strong introverted abilities. Things like introspection, creativity, brainstorming, conceptualizing, problem solving, and other traits that require deep and often solo contemplation.

Is It Bad to Be an Introvert?

I’ve asked myself this question far too many times. And while I now believe that, NO, it is not inherently bad, I will admit I’ve certainly used being an introvert as an excuse to justify my behavior or get out of things I just don’t wanna do.

Now, there is a big difference between leaving a party early because you are over stimulated and not going to the party at all because you know ahead of time that, at some point, you will be over stimulated. See what I mean?

It’s easy to cry “introvert” when I want to avoid feeling drained. And sometimes that’s valid. But knowing things might be harder as an introvert isn’t always a good reason to say no.

God designed us to need Him. To be filled by Him. To be in community with other people. I know this to be true, though that doesn’t always make it easier.

Bible Verses to Help Introverts

These are a few verses that remind me why it’s good NOT to be alone and not rely on myself because I need God to recharge me when I feel drained.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NLT) — “⁹ Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. ¹⁰ If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”

1 Corinthians 12:18-26 (NLT) — “¹⁸ But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. ¹⁹ How strange a body would be if it had only one part! ²⁰ Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. ²¹ The eye can never say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you.’ The head can’t say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you.’ ²² In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. ²³ And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, ²⁴ while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. ²⁵ This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. ²⁶ If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.”

Ephesians 1:23 (NLT) —“And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.”

Isaiah 40:30-31 (NLT) — “³⁰ Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. ³¹ But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

John 4:14 (NLT) — “But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

John 6:35 (NLT) —“Jesus replied, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.'”

Why Is Being Shy Different Than Being an Introvert?

It’s easy to see why being an introvert and being shy are often confused, as both share a few similar characteristics, like wanting to avoid people, being hesitant to commit, and being comfortable in seclusion.

Psychology Today defines shyness this way:

Shyness is a sense of awkwardness or apprehension that some people consistently feel when approaching or being approached by others. Shyness is a response to fear, and research suggests that although there is a neurobiology of shyness—the behavioral repertoire is orchestrated by a specific circuit of neurons in the brain—it is also strongly influenced by parenting practices and life experiences.

I can also relate to Psychology Today’s explanation of “What Causes Shyness?”

Shyness emerges from a few key characteristics: self-consciousness, negative self-preoccupation, low self-esteem and fear of judgment and rejection. Shy people often make unrealistic social comparisons, pitting themselves against the most vibrant or outgoing individuals. Believing that others are constantly evaluating them poorly, shy people abandon new social opportunities—which, in turn, prevents them from improving their social skills.

Now that doesn’t sound like introversion to me. As an introvert, I don’t avoid social situations because I’m afraid, I avoid them because they exhaust me. It’s only the shy part of me that would rather be alone or be with “safe” people out of fear.

Being a Shy Kid

Shyness might seem innocent and cute — but, for me, it was frustrating. Growing up, I assumed I was born shy because I couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. And I desperately wanted to turn it off and be one of the outgoing girls. But instead of turning to God for help, I focused on my appearance in hopes that confidence in how I looked would force the shyness out of me.

That only made it worse. I became even less confident. I compared myself to others even more. My fear of judgment and rejection grew and eventually manifested into an eating disorder.

I’m not saying shyness will lead to an eating disorder, or blaming my shyness on mine. I simply didn’t realize as a kid that the root cause of being shy was a lack of confidence in who I was and a fear of what other people thought of me.

What Does the Bible Say About Confidence?

While I encourage you to study for yourself what Biblical confidence looks like, here are a few verses to get you started. Verses that build confidence through pursuing relationship with God and believing His promises.

2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) — “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

Proverbs 29:25 (NLT) — “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.”

Galatians 1:10 (NET) — “Am I now trying to gain the approval of people, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ!”

Shyness as an Adult

I wish I could tell you that these verses always give me confidence and I’ve parted ways with that younger-me shyness. But no. I still struggle sometimes with fear and apprehension around other people. The difference now is that I know I don’t have to rely on my own strength to overcome it. I have God’s strength in me through the Holy Spirit. And when I take my focus off myself — and worrying about what other people might think of me — and redirect that focus to God, that makes all the difference.

I don’t always get it right. In some moments I feel shy, I let it win. I do. Far less than before, but it happens. But instead of chastising myself over it and living in guilt and shame, I know that God is gracious. And patient. And tomorrow is another day to step out in faith.

Strength in Weakness

If you also struggle with shyness as an adult, God has grace and patience and strength for you, too.

I can’t help but think of the Apostle Paul, writing to the Corinthians about his own weakness in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 (NLT):

⁷…to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. ⁸ Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. ⁹ Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

Did God also make me shy to keep me from becoming proud? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, it is a weakness that keeps me connected to God because it reminds me how much I need Him. How often I need Him.

So, the next time you feel that shyness coming on, remember:

1. God did not create you to fear people. He is the only one you need to please.
2. When you feel weak, that is an opportunity for God to shine through you. He gets the glory!

And… one final verse because it’s too good not to share.

In 2 Corinthians 4:7 (NLT), Paul tells the church: “We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.”

Even in our weakness — whether it be shyness or something else — God chooses to use us. He chooses to place His message of grace and salvation through Jesus’ resurrection IN our fragile selves.

Why?

Because our weaknesses are a powerful testimony when we live out of God’s strength instead of our own.

Amen?