I shared the following message on my podcast, Recover with God, and it feels too important to NOT share on my blog. So, in case you aren’t a fan of podcasts or would rather read the text—here it is.

Recover with God Podcast: Season 2, Episode 24

Hi there! I’m Jayme, host of the Recover with God Podcast, and today I am flying solo again with a special episode on cheat days or cheat meals, and food anxiety during the holidays.

This episode is airing right before Thanksgiving, with Christmas not too far behind, so I thought it would be the perfect time to address these topics.

No, I am not a dietitian or nutritionist, so please do not view this episode as medical advice. But, I can offer my personal experience with cheat meals, cheat days, food restriction and bingeing—and I know it can be especially challenging around the holidays. 

And I am just going to come out and say it right now. No beating around the bush. Calling anything a “cheat” meal or day is disordered behavior that can lead to an eating disorder. Please know I say this out of love and experience and wanting you to live in freedom. I truly want that for you!

But again, I am not a professional, so let me reference a scientific study of adolescents and young adults conducted by the Journal of Eating Disorders. This research study found that “engagement in cheat meals was associated with greater engagement in eating disorder behaviors and psychopathology.” That is a direct quote from the Journal of Eating Disorders.

Did the study prove that cheat meals ALWAYS lead to an eating disorder? No. I want to acknowledge that. However, my challenge to you is… do you want to take that chance?

Cheat meals are—at the very least—a form of disordered eating.

Let me read to you the definition of disordered eating from the National Eating Disorders Association website. Here is the full definition:

Disordered eating and eating disorders are related as they both pertain to problematic eating patterns. While they share similarities, there are significant differences between these disorders. Disordered eating refers to a spectrum of problematic eating behaviors and distorted attitudes towards food, weight, shape, and appearance. Often these behaviors include dieting, skipping meals, fasting, restricting food intake, eliminating specific foods or food groups, binge eating, excessive use of diuretics, laxatives, and weight loss medications, as well as the use of compensatory behaviors (purging, excessive exercising). Disordered eating patterns can vary in severity but do not meet the frequency, duration and/or psychological criteria for a diagnosable eating disorder. 

If your cheat meal is a result of otherwise dieting, restricting certain foods, or eliminating specific food groups—the National Eating Disorder Association would classify that as disordered eating. Continued over time as a dieting strategy, it can lead to a full blown eating disorder. I know from experience.

Cheat Days and Disordered Eating

As a teenager, I started restricting my calories and eventually fell into the habit of an occasional cheat day so I could binge on all the food I didn’t normally allow myself to eat.

At first, my cheat days were about once a week. But in college, they were every other day. One day, I’d eat everything in sight and hit up multiple fast food drive thrus and vending machines. The next day, I would eat practically nothing and felt like I was going to pass out. So, I’d binge the day after… and the cycle continued, along with lots of excessive exercise.

I won’t go into my entire story—you can listen to that on the very first episode of this podcast—Season 1 Episode 1.

Basically, my food restriction led to cheat days and cheat days became out of control binges that increased in frequency. Eventually, even my excessive exercising wasn’t enough and I started throwing up.

Let me add another disclaimer here that I am not a licensed health professional and I understand that not all cheat days or even bingeing will lead to bulimia.

But, there is always a danger.

The Danger of Cheat Days and Cheat Meals

Restriction and cheat days create a crack for the devil to weasel his way into. Just like he did with Eve in the Garden of Eden. A simple, subtle lie can turn that crack into a massive pit.

I really don’t want you to fall in!

Now, you might have heard a cheat meal is a planned binge. I actually don’t agree with that statement. Not EVERY cheat meal or cheat day qualifies as a full on binge. Still… don’t forget that a cheat meal is a slippery slope to greater disordered eating or even an eating disorder.

Let’s say you stick to a strict diet 6 days a week and then allow yourself to eat “bad” food only on the 7th day. (I’m using air quotes for the word “bad” because I don’t believe any food is bad.) Now, on that 7th day… maybe you only eat “bad” for one meal. Or maybe you eat “bad” the entire day. Either way, it’s possible your goal isn’t to binge, but you are still stuck in a cycle of good food vs. bad food. Restriction and indulgence.

And restriction CAN lead to an eventual binge, even if you didn’t plan for it to happen. Again, I know this from experience.

Whether you psychologically crave certain foods more because you tell yourself you can’t have them, or you restrict to such a low calorie amount that your body is simply desperate for food—either way, a “cheat meal” can easily get out of control.

I remember, all too well, allowing myself a small cheat of maybe a piece of chocolate or one cookie. Or one piece of candy. But one quickly turned into two… three… and then a free-for-all with every “bad” food I had access to.

It was especially hard for me over the holidays or at any sort of party or celebration with food involved. I remember reluctantly allowing myself to have just one slice of cake or pizza at a birthday party, and then I couldn’t handle the guilt. After that, the entire rest of the day was ruined for me because of one “bad” food that I didn’t even binge on. What was the point of being good now? I would tell myself. I already messed up, so why not binge the rest of the day and start over tomorrow.

Then, there were other times when I would plan to binge at a party or a holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas. In my head, it was already labeled a cheat day. No food was off limits. No amount of food was off limits. I was prepared to stuff myself. But only on that day. And I knew very well that I would punish myself the next day by eating very little, only eating “good” foods, and exercising as much as possible to burn it off.

Can you relate to any of these thoughts? I certainly hope you CAN’T because the all-or-nothing restriction and cheat day cycle is a nightmare. It’s not freedom.

But if you can relate, God knew you needed [to read this].

What God and the Bible Say about Diet Culture

God KNOWS you need to break free from dieting that leaves you feeling deprived and craving a cheat day. God WANTS you to stop living in fear, shame, self-loathing, and obsession with food and your body.

Dieting, restriction, and cheat days are not sustainable in the long-term or healthy in the short term. They just aren’t. You might feel a sense of control, but let me tell you, it’s false. It will not last. Eventually, the diet culture lifestyle will control you because it’s not about willpower or being able to control it. It will control you—and that’s exactly what the enemy wants.

Please trust me when I say that it doesn’t end well. You don’t get what you think you want. A smaller body won’t make you happy and everything else in your life will start to fade as well.

But don’t just listen to what I have to say. GOD does not want this for you either. God has a better way for all of us to live at peace with food and our bodies that is true freedom.

So, HOW the heck do you find that freedom??!!

That’s an excellent question. And as we go into the holidays, I sincerely hope you work toward freedom to stop fearing the food that comes with family time, gatherings with friends, and all the opportunities to make memories.

First, let me read a few verses to encourage you.

Ecclesiastes 9:7 (NLT) tells us to: “Go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this!”

In Matthew 6:25 (AMP), Jesus told his followers, “Therefore I tell you, stop being worried or anxious (perpetually uneasy, distracted) about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, as to what you will wear. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing?”

Tips to Navigate Holiday Food Anxiety

I also want to share a few tips to help you navigate the holidays, avoid cheat meals, avoid bingeing, avoid depriving yourself, and stop worrying about the number on the scale.

1. Throw that scale away. Or at the very least, hide it away during the holidays. It’s not your friend. It’s not doing you any favors. Weight can easily fluctuate from day to day due to water gained or lost in your body. And even if you do gain (or lose) a few pounds over a week or so, what does that actually say about your health? Focusing on how your body FEELS instead of an arbitrary number on a scale that may not even be accurate is a sad way to live. I say that out of love because that number used to make or break my day.
2. When you feel anxiety about food leading up to a party, change the subject in your mind. Philippians chapter 4 tells us that the key to finding the true peace of God—true freedom—is thinking about good things. Verse 8 says: “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Think about the people you get to see, happy conversations you’ll have, memories you’ll make. Think about things not related to the party at all. Think about God! Pray TO God.
3. Don’t restrict before the party or family gathering. Eat breakfast. Eat lunch. Eat a snack. The more ravenous you feel around the party food, the more likely you are to lose control. Not eating to save calories is not self-control. It goes against how God designed our bodies to need food.
4. Challenge yourself to put at least a small portion of what you want on your plate. Start with what you want most. Don’t save the best for last. Find satisfaction in what you really want.
5. Make memories!! Twenty years from now, you likely won’t remember what you ate at a Christmas party, but you will remember the people you were with. Twenty years from now, the number on the scale that day won’t matter. How your festive party clothes fit won’t matter. Being the skinniest won’t matter. So don’t waste time worrying about those things this holiday season—or any time of year.

And lastly, I want to share a light bulb moment from a friend who is finding food freedom right now. Here’s a summary of what she told me:

The binge cycle has two parts, the binge and the restrict or purge. If you stop mid-cycle—after the binge—that is still a win!

After a binge episode, if you over exercise to burn it off or restrict the next day to make up for the food you ate, that just continues the binge one day further and allows you to continue feeding the addiction. Yes, it can become an addiction.

So, instead, choose to stop the binge cycle right after the binge. Don’t excessively exercise or restrict the food you eat to punish yourself or attempt to “undo” the binge. You can start over right then and there. You can break the cycle.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT) tells us that:

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”

This promise in God’s word doesn’t only mean that He will give you a way out BEFORE you binge. If you’re already in the middle of it, sometimes the way out comes AFTER the binge—and before you try to make up for all the food you consumed. Even if you physically don’t feel well after bingeing, you can make progress by sitting with that discomfort and letting it pass.

So if that’s you today… or if you find yourself uncomfortably full after a cheat meal or cheat day and it feels like those moments of cheating are starting to control you—top the cycle.

Take a step in the right direction.

Take a step toward freedom from disordered eating.