If you struggle with an eating disorder (ED) or even disordered eating, the number one, underlying question in your mind is likely: How do you recover?

I know because this was my questions for years. And, to be honest, it often felt like the answer did not exist. In fact, it felt like a pointless question to ask, which made me wonder if recovery was even possible.

Can you recover from an eating disorder? Is recovery possible? I thought the answer was no for far too long.

But today, 10 years fully recovered from bulimia and other variations of disordered eating, I can tell you, with confidence, that recovery is possible. So, let me share what actually worked for me—my eating disorder recovery tips, if you will.

First, though, I need to share a few disclaimers.

• I am not a licensed professional. I am a person who recovered from an eating disorder.
• This guide is not intended to replace a treatment plan or program. It is meant to be used alongside other recovery support resources, such as professional therapy and nutritional counseling.
• Just as no two eating disorder struggles are exactly alike, no two recovery experiences are either. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. What worked for me may not work for everyone, and that’s okay.
• What you are about to read is a major oversimplification of the recovery process. All of this is easier said than done. Yet, I don’t mean to scare or intimidate you; I only want to set you up for greater success on the hard days. Because, yes, recovery is hard.

6 Mindset Shifts That Actually Helped Me Recover from an Eating Disorder

1. You Need to Choose Recovery for Yourself

No one can want or choose it for you. That’s not how recovery works—not long term anyway. If you feel forced or pressured into treatment, or you are not fully committed to letting go of your ED, don’t be surprised if nothing changes or you experience a relapse.

That is not to say that every relapse is caused by a lack of desire to recover, but—in my opinion—it increases the likelihood of pseudo recovery or completely going back to your ED behaviors.

2. Let Go of (at Least) Four Things

• Control
• Perfection
• Believing lies
• All-or-nothing thinking

These mindsets only hold you back.

CONTROL — The more you try to control your food, weight, and any outcomes of your recovery, the more your ED will continue to control you.

PERFECTION — Perfection is a lie that convinces you of many destructive beliefs. You might believe you need to achieve or maintain a body society deems “perfect.” You might believe there is a perfect way to eat, deeming foods “good” and “bad.” You might even believe you have to be perfect at every aspect of recovery.

But recovering from an ED is messy, weight fluctuates, society’s preferences change, and perfection is not sustainable or truly ever attainable in the first place.

BELIEVING LIES — Besides the lie of perfection, there are plenty of other lies your eating disorder will convince you are true. Many of these lies center on your value and worth. Maybe you believe you need to look a certain way to earn love or fit in. Maybe you believe that reaching your goal weight will make you happy. Or maybe you are convinced that disordered behaviors around food and exercise are okay because “everybody’s doing it.”

What lies are you believing today? Be honest with yourself, because continuing to believe them will hold you back from full recovery.

ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING — Recovery is not a quit cold turkey decision. In fact, I’d argue that believing you can quit your eating disorder in a single day will hinder your ability to recover. You are not a failure for taking slow steps or making mistakes. Progress is rarely linear. Recovery is a one-day-at-a-time, one-moment-at-a-time process. Expect plenty of ups and downs along the way.

3. Give Yourself Grace and Be Patient

Instead of beating yourself up for a setback, consider it an opportunity to learn and grow so you can keep going. Ask questions.

• What triggered you?
• How can you react differently next time?
• Did something go well that you can repeat tomorrow?
• What small wins can you celebrate?

Not every day will feel like a significant step forward. That’s normal. Remember that the smallest steps count and add up over time.

4. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

I didn’t come up with this phrase, but it articulates my point well. Recovery is hard. You’re not doing it wrong when it feels too tough to continue. Instead, you need to sit with the discomfort and allow yourself to feel it without trying to make it go away.

If a binge urge feels too strong, let it be strong. Don’t try to get rid of it by giving into your ED.

If you feel bad after eating a full meal or a food that scares you, acknowledge the feeling and let it pass. Remind yourself it’s temporary.

No matter how intense the awful feelings feel, they can’t ultimately hurt you. Choosing to live in discomfort helps to decrease the intensity over time, and the feelings will lose their power over you.

5. Learn to Fully Rely on God

For me, God was vital to recovery. When I let go of control, perfection, and my all-or-nothing thinking and allowed myself to sit with my feelings, that took faith—and my faith was rooted in God’s truth. I believed two things: (1) that God was bigger than my ED, and (2) the life He wanted for me on the other side of recovery was better than the life I wasn’t really living at all while trapped by bulimia.

READ MORE about how I let go and let God.

I also recognized my own weakness. On my own, I was not strong enough to do any of the above. I needed supernatural power. When I wanted to give in or give up, God sustained me. His promises reminded me that I was not alone in the fight and Jesus already purchased my freedom from this sin.

Romans 6:6-11 (ERV) is the ultimate reminder:

⁶ We know that our old life was put to death on the cross with Christ. This happened so that our sinful selves would have no power over us. Then we would not be slaves to sin. ⁷ Anyone who has died is made free from sin’s control. ⁸ If we died with Christ, we know that we will also live with him. ⁹ Christ was raised from death. And we know that he cannot die again. Death has no power over him now. ¹⁰ Yes, when Christ died, he died to defeat the power of sin one time—enough for all time. He now has a new life, and his new life is with God. ¹¹ In the same way, you should see yourselves as being dead to the power of sin and alive for God through Christ Jesus.

6. Recognize and Protect Yourself from Spiritual Attacks

I firmly believe that eating disorders and disordered eating are one of the enemy’s sneakiest attacks on Christians. The Devil can’t take our salvation, but he can take us down by distracting us from God’s truth and making us ineffective for God’s mission on this earth.

All the years I struggled, God was not first in my life. Everything revolved around my ED, my physical appearance, and striving to find happiness in lies and temporary things. I played right into the enemy’s plan.

And, let me tell you, once I decided to recover, the enemy did not stop attacking me. Oh, no. The attacks became more intense and targeted. He wanted me to fail at recovery and return to hopelessness. He certainly didn’t want me to recover, live for Jesus, and spread hope.

What do the Devil’s attacks look like? Well, they can convince you you’re failing. They can make you think recovery is impossible. They can discourage you, mess with your body image, and keep you feeling stuck.

When I finally recognized these feelings as spiritual warfare, I began to fight back instead of shrink back into negativity. If the enemy’s attacks feel harder and louder at any point in your recovery, that’s a sign you’re doing something right.

Your recovery will make the Devil mad. Let it. Keep going. Cling to God. Pray, pray, pray—for strength, wisdom, truth, help, endurance—and read God’s Word. Surround yourself with God as much as possible.

DID YOU KNOW? I wrote an eating disorder recovery devotional to help you do just that.

Ephesians 6 describes this process as putting on the “full armor of God.”

¹¹ Wear the full armor of God. Wear God’s armor so that you can fight against the devil’s clever tricks. ¹² Our fight is not against people on earth. We are fighting against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness. We are fighting against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly places. ¹³ That is why you need to get God’s full armor. Then on the day of evil, you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing.

(Ephesians 6:11-13, ERV)

That feels like a mic drop verse to me. And God’s Word always says it best.

The Key to Lasting Eating Disorder Recovery

Again, I don’t mean to oversimplify the process of recovery from an eating disorder, but you have to start somewhere—and this is where I started, with this list.

Recovering from over ten years of bulimia, restriction, and other disordered behaviors was one of the hardest experiences of my life. And I have zero regrets.

I got my life back, and now I get to live it by spreading hope to others, like you.

If you’re reading this today and you’re exhausted, hopeless, desperate… you’ve tried everything… you want the solution to recovery… I have one word for you: God.

Have you tried recovering WITH God? If not, I encourage you to take everything you just read straight to God and ask Him what’s next. Maybe what’s next for you isn’t even on this list. God knows. Trust Him with your fears, your doubts, the unknowns. Trust Him with your emotions, desires, and needs. Trust Him to love you in your mess—because He does.

God loves you unconditionally and by His grace you can recover. And I really hope you do.

NEED MORE? Listen to my podcast, Recover with God, for more stories of hope, professional support, and the feeling that you are understood.